30 posts tagged “f13”

1. 

   No Bird
   After understanding a joke you shouldn't have.
2. When the cops ask if there's something in the trunk.
3. On the witness stand.
4. When mom/dad/manager/spouse falls down the stairs.
5. When parent is yelling at you or your siblings.
6. Of course, at a funeral.
7. While drinking water during a board meeting.
8. When someone is angry at you and says something that makes 0% sense.
9. When you smell something funny in a conference room and know it wasn't you.
10. While the pastor is praying.
11. When your have to toss your dog its food because he has a cone on his face.
12. Standing next to someone in a public bathroom, at a urinal.
13. When you REALLY have to go to the bathroom, and there's no way you can, i.e. in a car on a long trip.

1. 

   Mona Lisa Lego
   No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
2. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
3. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
4. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it is too late.
5. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
6. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
7. A king size water-bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
8. A six year old boy scout can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
9. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
10. The glass in windows (even double pane) will not stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
11. Neither garbage bags nor bed sheets make good parachutes.
12. Upon being dangled, your parent's keys will force you to turn your head.
13. Super glue is forever.

Computer Dog

1. BuddySlim
   
2. Dream Journal, DeadJournal
   
3. Kidmondo, MomsBuzz :: PregnancyBlog
4. travelblog.com, TravelBlog, TravelPod
   
5. BakeSpace
6. Scrapblog
7. deviantART
8. WritersCafe
9. eWedding, WeddingPath
   
10. LOOKBOOK
11. Respectance, Gone Too Soon
    
12. Dogster, Catster, Petster
13. Stripgenerator
    

Show us some graffiti. 

clipped from www.jibjab.com

Faith. Reason. Hope.

1. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
2. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
3. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
4. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
5. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
6. Don't sweat petty things... or pet sweaty things.
7. What doesn't kill you, didn't kill you.
8. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
9. Less is not more, it is less.
10. Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
11. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
12. He who laughs last is a slow thinker.
13. Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.
    

Ayam Nekad

1. BARACK OBAMA:
   The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
2. JOHN MC CAIN:
   My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
3. HILLARY CLINTON:
   When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn' t about me...
4. DR. PHIL:
   The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
5. OPRAH:
   Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
6. GEORGE W. BUSH:
   We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
7. NANCY GRACE:
   That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
8. MARTHA STEWART:
   No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
9. DR SEUSS:
   Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
10. ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
    To die in the rain. Alone.
11. ARISTOTLE:
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
12. ALBERT EINSTEIN:
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
13. BILL CLINTON:
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?